"The Only Exception"

So.. a new year has come and with that..new experiences and new feelings, of course! I got to see Tegan and Sara last night at the Warner Theater. Steel Train opened for them, they were pretty good. Tegan and Sara were amazing. Simple as that. Anyway, I am still going to physical therapy(usually twice a week) for my right knee. This march is when I plan to get my left knee fixed. I've probably been over this shit many times haha. Something that i haven't talked about is a new girl in my life. It was as unexpected as you can get when falling for someone.. I mean, it happened when i was already hurt by this other girl..and BAM. Well, her name is Jess. She is incredible, I am lucky to have found her. One good thing her and I have learned so far is that no matter the distance, we are close at heart.. and right now that is all we have but soon enough..there won't be a physical distance.

Amar

There is quite a lot i'd like to say but ..i don't know how much i will share.
Mhm. I saw Jennifer's Body and, yes, i really liked it haha . Dark comedy, c'mon guys!
So i'm still obviously recovering from my knee surgery and i have another one to go.
The pain is worth it. I can't wait to run, bike, jog, play basketball, etc! Plus i'll
be able to be on my own after i get both surgeries, a job, and save money. I am
serious about my future..because i can't live like this for the rest of my life. It's boring
and useless lol. I'm thinking about taking classes on acting.. maybe do something with
that in college? Photography, Sociology, and History are other favorites. Maybe a writing class, too? I wrote a new poem, first one in two months, for my beloved friend that died a little over two months ago. Here it is:

Amar, Immortal

I have this picture of you in my head.
Things could've been better
if you hadn't choosen this death
and as i think of these words everyday,
this picture of you changes everything.
So you took the ultimate path,
you tried to reach out, tried to say goodbye
but as the human race knows it,
we've all got shit in our lives.
And as we speculate our own problems,
we pass one another by but now I see
I've got to stop wasting time.
I could've taken your hand, told you the truth;
this world needed to keep someone
as special as you but now you are gone
and all i see are these now meaningless words
fleeing from the debris of your memory
that i am trying to keep....alive.



Well, i'm just trying to stay positive..so thinking about the future helps. I know things will be rocky for a while..but they will get better. CHEERS TO THAT!

Peace=]

Ignorance is your new best friend?

If a certain someone is reading this..then the title of this entry is predictable. Once more, a lot has happened and i lost a friend because of it..i guess i don't blame her, somehow i was bringing her down. What i don't get is..she wasn't around me enough to see how much i was laughing and smiling before she decided to dump me as a friend. Oh well=]. There are better things to think about.

I'm getting severe knee surgery on my right knee in less than a week. It's nerwrecking(actually pretty scary) but i just want to get it over with, plus it's worth it. At least it's not a heart surgery or something..my heart goes out to those people that have to deal with the stress of that stuff!

That is what i'll have in my leg for a couple of months. I was told it was temporary, they will take the screws out when my bones have healed. TMI? Oops..lol. Sooooo, if i am not too lazy i think i might upload pictures later and maybe post a poem. I should write, though.. Last night wasn't too good. Rose--i don't think you'll read my blogspot again but if you do..Don't be sorry for telling me what you did and i know you are scared. You are right, i don't know what that is like. Please talk to me. Alright..peace.

Past, Present, and Future

Answer me this:
How far can we get by thinking about the future while running away from our past?
And when you think back, do you think you missed something in the present?

Mhmm.. here is something i came up with earlier..



When a person runs from their bad memories..they must get exhausted at some point.When someone can fall asleep with no worries, do their dreams wake them up to reality?Do those dreams turn into nightmares and soon take that person right back to thestarting line just to show them that they can't keep running..because there is no easyway out? But the harder way must be more rewarding because then that person willfinally come to terms with the fact that the past will always be with them; for it has helpedthem become who they are today by learning who they NEVER want to be.

It's Been Awhile

I am too lazy and intimate to go into detail over what has been going on within the past months but mhm it's all good. I must seem like a concert junkie but i have an excuse: music is 98% of my life. I saw Shiny Toy Guns with some great friends back in November=].

Anyway....lol.... two months until graduation....holy fuck. I feel really chill about it though. I hope 2009 brings greater memories.

Not A Love Song

So kelly and i aren't dating anymore. I'm actually okay though, her and i are good as friends. Bah so i start school soon, half of me is anxious and the other half isn't. I just want to get my last year over with in a way.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=69LlvvMuOlU

Take Me On The Floor

Mhm, i always seem to find myself in a rut. Meaning..some kind of situation is put in my direction and i collide with it. I guess in this case, i might as well explain.
Well, i have a girlfriend. I dated her once before, actually she was my last girlfriend, her name is Kelly. Something seems different this time, like she actually wants to be with me.. because before, some of the time it seemed like she didn't. Two nights ago, i was at a party for one of my best friends.. it was her 'going away' party because shes going off to college in NY soon. It would've been great, and prob. a little better for me if kelly were there but she wasn't aloud out. Anyway, one of my ex-girlfriends/my first love was there..and she is still a good friend of mine though, her finance/girlfriend broke up with her recently..and she is pretty heartbroken. I wanted to talk to her about it but it was a bit hard considering the fact that we were both drunk and who wants to get emotional when your trying to have fun? I care about this girl, a lot..and i know she feels the same way, i just hope she gets better sooner than later. Even though i have a girlfriend, my ex and i kissed acouple of times. I think im pretty stupid, and i was pretty drunk..but not drunk enough to go into the 5-some orgy that was happening right near me. Yeahh, im pretty smart lol. I know that my ex doesn't feel for me, more than a good friend atleast, in any way and its vis versa but i do feel like things were left unsaid in the past. Who knows.. maybe its better that way? And even if those kisses were just kisses, i still feel bad about it..but i dont know if im going to say anything about it. I know trust is very very good, but sjberhfbejd i dont know. Sorry for another long, pointless blog entry lol.