My mind is faster than my mouth..but not my hands!

I am bored and still have a lot to say. If you haven't read the first entry, you should..or you'll be deeply confused in this entry. Well following the whole thing with Mary Anne, at first she wasn't talking to me..which i dont blame her. Before Tasha left, i found out that Grace started talking to Mary-Anne. Oh yes, keep in mind that Grace doesn't go to the same school as Mary Anne and i(Tasha obviously used to). Apparently, Mary Anne was the one that started the conversations though.. Within acouple of days, they had a relationship. Tasha was still here, so i want to say it was like Jan. 10th maybe? Grace finally told me about her relationship with Mary Anne. I am not going to lie, it upset me but i tried not to let that keep Grace away from happiness. Mary Anne and i started talking acouple of days before Tasha left, it might have not been long but whenever i saw her in the hallways..it was painful. There was this one time when i got out of the elevator and right when i looked up, Mary Anne looked up..our eyes met and we were connected. Her and i later talked about that exact moment...and how we could both feel eachother.

Ah, anyways.. Tasha left, Grace knew I would be upset..actually a lot of people knew. My friends kept asking me if im alright, i was lost but i am glad to have such good friends. Grace informed me that she would be leaving for about 10 days to go to Mexico with members of her church at the end of Jan. but she called me pretty much everyday to see how i was doing. Well, i did something to her that i thought i would NEVER do to a best friend. Til this day, she still does not know. When she was in Mexico, Mary Anne cheated on her with me. Something that i do is i hold on to certain people. Which i dont know if that is a good thing or bad but i know sometimes i should let go. I am starting to let go of Mary Anne because she needs to understand that only she cant play with peoples hearts, like i did with hers. I know now that i can't do that and the only reason why i did it then was because i was afraid of getting hurt. I wonder if that is why Mary Anne is doing it now. Plus i want Grace to be happy and i believe that has been. My heart is to worn down by guilt. Sometimes when Grace talks about Mary Anne, i cant look her in the eyes.. I wonder what she'd do when/or if i tell her. Well i have been going by this saying: "what you dont know wont hurt you". In some ways, it does...


Love & Peace,
Taty